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Post by dolphin on Aug 12, 2016 23:49:27 GMT
yes, I saw those crystals 'going' out as an extended arm of your energies to.
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Post by sainte on Aug 13, 2016 1:48:47 GMT
Thanks! I don't have pictures yet but that's going to happen pretty soon. I started boxing books today. Then I started crying cause I really don't want to let them go but I took a break and a breath and realized, yes I can do this, just had to feel it all first. It's tiring, though, shutting down such a big timeline. Sainte, thanks for that about seeing a crystal line connecting me to someone else. I appreciate the intel.  No worries adventure lady.. Bedeep for president.. word.. |
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Post by bedeep on Aug 13, 2016 10:58:56 GMT
Thanks! I don't have pictures yet but that's going to happen pretty soon. I started boxing books today. Then I started crying cause I really don't want to let them go but I took a break and a breath and realized, yes I can do this, just had to feel it all first. It's tiring, though, shutting down such a big timeline. Sainte, thanks for that about seeing a crystal line connecting me to someone else. I appreciate the intel. No worries adventure lady.. Bedeep for president.. word.. Oh god no, NOT president, NOOoooooo!!! |
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Post by sainte on Aug 13, 2016 12:41:33 GMT
Oh ok.. Bedeep for pole dancing?  |
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Post by bedeep on Aug 13, 2016 17:41:36 GMT
More like this...  |
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Post by bedeep on Aug 13, 2016 19:34:07 GMT
Well, I followed up on that lead, which basically means I wrote and sent an email, so now to await a response. A second lead I had seems to be a dud. I have to keep looking somehow....
Thinking about putting an ad somewhere, not sure where and not sure what I would say! cogitating and ruminating on that.
More books to box. It is very hot here this week.
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Post by bedeep on Aug 14, 2016 23:08:13 GMT
That lead? Got back to me, kind, welcoming, glad I reached out, but is going to be offline for ten days, and has no immediate suggestions. We'll reconnect on the 25th or so and see where it's all at then.
I reached out to another ecovillage, haven't heard back. Tried to contact a second one but their contact form required a captcha and that was broken, so, no contact. :/
Boxed my books, found quite a few I do not need to keep so winnowed books down to three smallish boxes.
Hope to sleep tonight.
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Post by sainte on Aug 15, 2016 3:48:11 GMT
How is the cousin behaving?
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Post by bedeep on Aug 15, 2016 11:38:51 GMT
How is the cousin behaving? She is totally avoiding me. I will probably have to ask for her help (she has a car) to mail things, even to ship things, etc. but for now it's fine she's avoiding me. Not sure she can maintain that though. Taking one day at a time. |
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Post by jnewman77 on Aug 15, 2016 12:22:24 GMT
This has been my story line since July only its been on finding a new job. Our stories are similar at this time. Yours is finding a new place to live, mine is finding a new place to work. Both of us trying to leave our toxic environment. I too have leads. Even interviews that go so great that I am sure I got the job! But in the end, they gave it to someone else LESS qualified than I. It is discouraging, frustrating and its beginning to bring me down. I feel like the universe is against me. I am having a hard time staying positive these last few days. I, We have to trust the best outcome for us both will come. I asked source to restore my trust this morning on my way into work since mine is in the toilet. I can hardly bring myself to come to this toxic place. I fight tears because I hate the feeling it holds.
Your situation is worse than mine for sure. Yet I see the similarities in both of ours. Why now right? We WILL be helped. We WILL find our place in our new story.
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Post by bedeep on Aug 15, 2016 15:55:55 GMT
JN, the way I am holding this is that what I am doing is dismantling a big old timeline. I see timelines as having smaller timelines within them; I am dismantling a huge chunk of my adult life here. I feel very firmly and clearly ON my new timeline, but there is still stuff to release, clean up, dispose of, etc. As well, I suspect that my timing has to intersect with the timing of others aligned with my new timeline and that is what I have to be patient for and trust.
But at times yes, it is hard! I think your situation may be worse, LOL! Mostly I feel a lot of support though it is not here in the house! physically....
I work to clean up my attitude, it is very easy and tempting to fall into blame, contempt, enmity, all that shit, and it is simply not something I can afford to give any energy to.
Heard back from that ecovillage I had sent a query to -- they want me to tell more about myself, and ask if I could maybe visit for a couple weeks in September, and that they won't really have dwelling space until Fall/Winter. I may, as I think about responding to this, need to find something temporary until a more permanent thing works out but I feel daunted by that very idea at this point! One step at a time.
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Post by jnewman77 on Aug 15, 2016 16:28:12 GMT
"JN, the way I am holding this is that what I am doing is dismantling a big old timeline. I see timelines as having smaller timelines within them; I am dismantling a huge chunk of my adult life here. I feel very firmly and clearly ON my new timeline, but there is still stuff to release, clean up, dispose of, etc. As well, I suspect that my timing has to intersect with the timing of others aligned with my new timeline and that is what I have to be patient for "
I hadn't thought of it that way. I have felt that the timeline that I am on has crumbled away. I feel strongly its time to leave this place of work after 17 years and am actively doing that. I need to be patient and allow the change to flow. I feel like I am jumping back and forth from new and old timelines. The old one feels really really bad. Like you said "one step at a time". |
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Post by bedeep on Aug 15, 2016 16:39:28 GMT
 It was a really big help to me to find this project I am active with now, which really is a life work. It gives me the feeling of always being on a supported path just because it is so right for me, such a perfect alignment. I get a lot of energy from that. If there is anything you connect to in a heart way that you feel/know is part of your new timeline, focusing on that might help. It can lift you out of the toxic soup. Does for me, anyway. <3 |
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Post by bedeep on Aug 15, 2016 17:51:23 GMT
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Post by jnewman77 on Aug 15, 2016 19:48:42 GMT
I went back a few days on Starweather and it described what I've been feeling on those days. I do feel like I'm in a death/rebirth state. The old timeline dying and the new timeline under construction. Thanks bedeep for the link above!
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