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Post by bedeep on Aug 27, 2016 16:26:41 GMT
The meeting: All she wanted was to offer me some storage options if I "have to go someplace temporary on September 30". Which was nice and also communicated that she is not budging that deadline (which I already knew). But there was no aggression or contention. I said I doubted if storage would be realistic as I have so little and it would be a storage unit with lots of empty space! But I also asked to keep the option open until I knew more.
Gave her an update, and she was more kind and sympathetic than she has been for a while. (Sainte!)
So, that's done. Now if I can just find a place....
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Post by dolphin on Aug 29, 2016 21:37:42 GMT
Crikey Bedeep, talk about been in a bombing-zone. I can 'feel' the destructiveness. The work-in-progress is constant & charged: so, so not easy when you have the 'other' people shit to deal with. Oh, The trickery of realities, I feel there is plenty of projected 'in' trickery. This takes up lots of energy-space. I can't quite figure how's of the craftiness-trickery-majic, but I can somewhat see/sense it. Crazy cous' there! This might seem silly...'think' of hologram depictions which can be also an unique take at personal. www.bibliotecapleyades.net/ciencia/ciencia_holouniverse06.htmAfter reading a site where another lives in 2 + dimensional worlds & has dialogued her experiences, it confirmed for me, where she said 'hollow-people' serve their purpose, as say for media speculation. My brain just said 'oh-yeah...hologram, holo = hollow. They are empty clones - theyre projecting in? At concepts of security i.e. home. The media here, just o' loves, super-charging 'rents', homelessness people ra-ra-ra. I meditated , & my heart said "its hollow-people, serving the purpose". Shit, me thinks, is that how the game is working.....how, can that be? where I'm with it, engaging with it & or plain watching it as the 'movie'. We are jumping around with time like we're energy-balls. 'Us' can get subjected to the heavy-invisible-armoury via illusion(s) at/in disguise. The question is 'what, exactly is being withheld for us Not to see, or even stop experiencing' when we so action all the right things @ heart and best of our given abilities. I will deviate here a little....I know my inner energetic impulses well and for some time, I have had a disturbance/discomfort solar-plexus which has been really thrown me off and tho' I try to calm/remedy it, it won't. I realized it was like a gut-instinct overly protecting me (as has always bn the case, since infancy). From other research (to long here to explain) I got the 'gist' why/how our energetic store-houses of INNER power, may have been SOMEHOW side-tracked. So, when I intently focused/relaxed upon the 'womb'/pelvis/vagina I had a different CHARGE which changed the FIELD to positive. Take-note, CHARGED THE FIELD TO POSITIVE. What this meant, ALL-ROUND, was re-generative responses. And, I could feel it refresh the brain. With the situations like yours, as to pick-you-off and while slavery of soul has 'their' outcome: losing (OUR)'hope' is another device in. As noted @ Sandra-Walters 'post' the energy continually amps up, more 'stuff' and more pain as progression. feeling the morphing change in the body is almost unconsciously welcomed & not welcomed. Then somewhat understanding we gauge everything by humanistic terms & hello, just maybe we are not that concept of definition at all.....as we've been led to believe. On finishing I feel you might like to walk n' walk, then meditate at outside space (i.e. park) furthest AWAY from the immediate house/couz dimensions. When you feel over-charged by negatives spaces this I find, turns the corner. (so to speak). x
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Post by bedeep on Aug 29, 2016 22:17:59 GMT
Oh, Dolphy, what a wonderful post. Thank you. The park idea would be perfecto except for two things: one, it is hot muggy and mosquitoey here and really icky to stay outside for long, and, two, if I go into new territory I usually have to do clearing before I can relax, and the signal for that is I get sick. So.... feh.
Spending time sitting on the back steps very early morning is quite sweet, and as she has finally gone to work after three and a long half days off (and I sneaked a peak at her schedule, she will work every morning this week too, yay!) I am relaxing some.
I'm about ready to investigate a gofundme thing or the like, as I would really like to be ready if in fact I do have to go somewhere temporary for a while. IF I get a place confirmed for end of September/beginning October, I can just swing it with what I have and what's coming in but if I need to have a temporary hole-up zone, that could be pricey.
I feel I am *supposed* to trust Spirit and my higher path to direct all this but, damn it's hard.
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Post by bedeep on Aug 29, 2016 22:19:38 GMT
Oh, haha, PS have to tell you why I called you "Dolphy" -- my youngest cousin once removed (I think) is a child who, when he was much younger, had a stuffed dolphin he carried everywhere, named (you guessed it) Dolphy -- it's a fond memory. I hope you don't mind the nickname.
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Post by dolphin on Aug 29, 2016 22:45:46 GMT
very symbolic - so be it!
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Post by bedeep on Aug 29, 2016 23:10:27 GMT
very symbolic - so be it! It's a term of affection! <3
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Post by bedeep on Sept 1, 2016 20:35:19 GMT
Ah, okay, update time. Really feeling these energies, whenever I can stop long enough to attune, and I think also the incoming are helping me stay on task. I haven't made any measurable progress but have reached out further and wider. Spoke at length with a local woman who I was put in touch with by that first ecovillage I tried for. This lady was very very helpful to me, gave me some coaching too about how I am presenting things that I really appreciated, and assured me that failing all else, I won't go on the street but can stay at her house. She is in town here and lives with only her husband, kids grown, has extra room. She is a Quaker and a peace and enviro activist so there is some common ground. She also said she would ask around among her friends and see what options she might find for me. Very kind of her! This was only Tuesday we talked, today is Thursday -- we will reconvene in about a week, and see what's what. Right now I'm thinking I should really focus on finding something interim, then from there look for something more permanent, while also getting ready to travel to the camps, I hope! Seems awfully complicated, doesn't it? I want simple but may not get that! Having fear come up, working to release it. Meanwhile I have contacted a few other possibilities, waiting to hear from two, the third I am doubtful would work but will follow up on the phone call, and then, just keep looking.
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Post by katye on Sept 1, 2016 23:33:27 GMT
WOW,Bedeep! From my outside perspective it sounds like everything is going your way!. You have a laptop and new chromebook, new glasses and some possible places to go to at the end of this month. Might be temporary but then, what in this world isn't, temporary, that is? A Lot can happen in the next 29 days.Stay the course, girl, go with the flow! We are all protected and I've found that issues very often get resolved at the 11th hour. Stay as positive as you can and BELIEVE the Universe is doing everything for your benefit, albeit not in your preferred timing You got this!
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Post by bedeep on Sept 1, 2016 23:43:22 GMT
Thanks for the encouragement, Katye!
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Post by sainte on Sept 1, 2016 23:53:56 GMT
Ah, okay, update time. Really feeling these energies, whenever I can stop long enough to attune, and I think also the incoming are helping me stay on task. I haven't made any measurable progress but have reached out further and wider. Spoke at length with a local woman who I was put in touch with by that first ecovillage I tried for. This lady was very very helpful to me, gave me some coaching too about how I am presenting things that I really appreciated, and assured me that failing all else, I won't go on the street but can stay at her house. She is in town here and lives with only her husband, kids grown, has extra room. She is a Quaker and a peace and enviro activist so there is some common ground. She also said she would ask around among her friends and see what options she might find for me. Very kind of her! This was only Tuesday we talked, today is Thursday -- we will reconvene in about a week, and see what's what. Right now I'm thinking I should really focus on finding something interim, then from there look for something more permanent, while also getting ready to travel to the camps, I hope! Seems awfully complicated, doesn't it? I want simple but may not get that! Having fear come up, working to release it. Meanwhile I have contacted a few other possibilities, waiting to hear from two, the third I am doubtful would work but will follow up on the phone call, and then, just keep looking. That lady sounds like an angel.. That must feel like a big relief. Its like a dark attack when asked to move on like that, it's so distressing, big hugs..xx
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Post by bedeep on Sept 2, 2016 0:28:16 GMT
It did feel like a huge relief. And yet, until I really know where I am going (her offer is short term, mind you!) it's all still pretty unsettling. So, I guess, the relief was short-lived. This is that thing of being so outside the mainstream -- especially, here, having no car -- and feeling people disapprove of that, like, why isn't she more together, you know? I get some of that from this person and it's tiring to face into but I know that's because I have to resolve something about it within myself....
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Post by dolphin on Sept 2, 2016 4:49:23 GMT
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Post by aquariann on Sept 2, 2016 17:59:21 GMT
This is that thing of being so outside the mainstream -- especially, here, having no car -- and feeling people disapprove of that, like, why isn't she more together, you know? I get some of that from this person and it's tiring to face into but I know that's because I have to resolve something about it within myself.... I think a lot of that attitude from others comes from the hidden fear that any one of them could be in your shoes , if not now then in the future . They don't want to remember that . Blame allows them to feel in control . They like to think it could never happen to them . But they are deluding themselves . Especially older married women , or younger ones with kids . Who might be one divorce away from some unpleasant realities . Or anyone who might be one major illness away from bankruptcy . Not everybody can have a car , can have a house , can even afford to live like people did in the past . Young people know , older people may not have had it hit them yet . I used to live in a wealthy suburb . Now I live in a semi-depressed rural area . It's a lot more relaxed here . There are no lawn police , for example. If you want to create mad elf world on your front lawn , go ahead . If you cultivate an out of control jungle, eventually the city will do something . There's a balance between the nit pickers and the free spirits . It definitely was not that way in the suburbs. There's more than one cab company in town , and buses - there are a lot of people with no cars . It's not a crime not to have a car . A lot of people don't even want to own them anymore .
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Post by bedeep on Sept 2, 2016 20:19:32 GMT
You are no doubt right about that. As well, I have internalized enough of that judgment that it has a little program of self-negation that runs when it gets triggered. I've been so immersed in negative judgment living here it's been kept alive, not so easy to clear out.
I feel better now. Went out and worked on the compost, got the finished stuff out and in bins for use, then came and rested for an hour and got pretty peaceful. It's a good remedy for me, working outside.
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Post by sainte on Sept 2, 2016 21:36:23 GMT
I've never owned or driven a car and I'm 43. Where I live is walkable to anything I want to do, multiple bus lines, that run every ten mins and a train line too..
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